Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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