do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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