I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
