Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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