What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
high people should be assigned attendants
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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