There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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