Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
