i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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