There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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