im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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