he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
