guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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