Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Sober January is a disaster.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
