I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
