thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
false alarm, still single
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
