I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
