brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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