i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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