im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
