i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
