Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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