Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
