If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
