Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
