Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
