I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I touched a dick in church today
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
