I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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