I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
