Whoa Z and x make the same sound
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
