New low: just hacked my moms facebook
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
