am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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