It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
