haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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