He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
