My boss' voice literally gives me gas
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
only if we run a train.
done.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
