You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
