He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
