just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
