you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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