Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
