whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
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Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
