quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
