I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
