If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
