im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
