That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
