Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
