Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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