Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
