why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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